Truly God is good

(I posted this on my other site on Saturday and failed to copy it over here. It deals with reflections on a temperary state of emotions. For the most part I'm in a less emotionally turbulent time right now, but I think the reflection remains a valid representation of stuff I'm thinking right now. That said, I'm including this post a little late.)

Psalm 73 is one of the most blatently honest pieces of literature about man's dealings with God that I have yet read. Today I wanted to talk honestly to Asaph (who wrote the psalm) about his experience of life when lived in the tension between the fall and redemption.
"As for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold." (Psalm 73:2, NIV)
I woke up this morning dangerously over pensive about myself and most everything else my life intercets with. Had I had the opportunity I would have had a host of cynical and sarcastic things to say about far too many things. I spent the day building disgustingly biting arguements against a number of different people and groups. I very much wanted to find someone to vent to--I know I could have. I also had the feeling that that would be one of the most destructive things I could have done.
"If I'd have given in and talked like this, I would have betrayed your dear children." (v15, The Message)
The problem was not that what I was thinking was untrue exactly. I don't doubt most things are even more messed up than what I can see of them when they are held to the standard of what they should be aside from the fall. The problem was that it wasn't right.
"When I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task" (v16, ESV)
As they mulled themselves over and over I was astonished at how deadly bitter all my thoughts were. It was a wretched experience of how deeply sinful I am. It was beyond my ability to get out of it.
"I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you." (v22, NIV)
I am aware that just because something is what I think doesn't mean it's right. I am becoming more aware that knowing what I am thinking isn't right doesn't make me stop thinking it. I am, in fact, sometimes very happy to go on thinking the wrong thing. What is there to do?
"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand." (v23)
It still takes me by surprise sometimes to think that God is really always with me. Not in the sense of him staying where he is--where everything is right and in order--and still being there when I finally get things right and in order again (somewhere where I still have gotten yet) to welcome me back. He is continually with me and so was still with me in my caustic bitterness.
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (v26)
My ability to be wrong will probably not decrease much before I die. I really am that untrustworthy. God is good because he loves me still. Jesus described him as the father in the tale of the two sons who loved both the son who squandered his inheritance and the son who cynically scoffed at it. He is good because it was his fatherhood that was the most precious part of their inheritance. This is not only true, but it is more true than anything else. Its true above or beyond or behind other things that sometimes block it from view so it is always true. God is alway good.
"The nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge." (v28, NASB)